Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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