We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
