Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize