Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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