I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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