My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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