I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
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This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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