Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
