is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
