My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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