how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
