i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize