Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
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I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
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