I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
