My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive