Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
