Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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