You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize