How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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