that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
