Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
