The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
