made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize