Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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