Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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