wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
