think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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