Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
