i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
there was a trapeze. enough said
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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