can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
