connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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