those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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