The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just invented taco cereal.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
