Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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