Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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