Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
