Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
