new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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