Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
