Moan for me like Helen Keller
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
