Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
