are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
