bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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