my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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