Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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