Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
