She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
