and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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