The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
