I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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