I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
