it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
