Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
