Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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