We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize