it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
