Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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